Nov 302014
 

The plan today was to fly from Tonga to Samoa via Nadi, Fiji. There was a nice route with a 90 minute connection in Nadi, and I booked all of this before I ever learnt that Fiji Airways and I were soon to enter into an abusive relationship. The first week of this trip I’d received an email from Expedia. It seems  Fiji Airways had decided to “retime” the onward connection to Samoa, and I would now have a 5.5 hour connection in Nadi. Instead of leaving at approximately 530pm we would now leave at 11pm and arrive at 230am. Ugh, not desirable at all, but if that was the worst drama I’d have this trip I’m not going to complain.

Unfortunately, three days before the flight, just after I got out of the shower on the Emirates A380, I checked my phone and there was an email. From Fiji Airways. I figured it was something about my Tuvalu refund.

Oh no, not at all. They had “retimed” my flight once again, and it was now going to leave a further 14 hours later – the NEXT DAY. Meaning I’d get stranded overnight in Fiji. UGH. There goes my first day in Samoa. Ok, breathe deeply. Water under the bridge. This is Fiji Airways. At least you get a nice relaxing nice in Fiji now. At least you won’t land in Samoa at 230am. Try and stay positive.

So I did.

Got to the airport, and check-in for Tonga took nearly 45 minutes. The ground handling company was clearly moving on island time, and there was a reasonable breeze in the terminal, so it wasn’t too bad. I asked about the exit row. She disappeared for about 10 minutes to “see if it is possible.” She came back, and without a word gave me a non exit row seat. I asked again. “No, not possible.” That was it.

Based on the flights departure board you’d think they’d be bored and looking for something to do:

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Your medium sized wood carvings are ok for carry on, but your wooden knives are not…no matter which way you point them!

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Shot of the bustling Nuku’Alofa airport from the passenger dropoff area:

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It was a walk to the plane gate, and notice all the friends and relatives waving goodbye to us:

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Pretty sure this is the first time I’ve ever boarded a plane through the rear. It was terrifying.

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…but I still managed a smile.

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Upon boarding, I asked the flight attendant if by chance the exit rows remained open, I could sit there when the door is closed. “Yes yes, of course.”

Fiji Airways flight 212
Nuku’alofa, Tonga (TBU) to Nadi, Fiji (NAN)
Depart 15:45, Arrive 17:15, Flight Time 1:30
Boeing 737-800, Registration DQ-FJG, Manufactured 1999, Seat 23D

I stalked the exit rows. I actually sat in 23D to deter people from getting the same idea. Nobody showed up. Score! Now really, how much work would it have been for the check-in agent to actually assign me this seat? Clearly too much. I had the entire row to myself!

In the approximately 10 days I’d been away, Fiji had also apparently gotten quite serious about Ebola:

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Despite only being a 90  minute flight, Fiji Airways offered a small snack. Another scary sandwich slathered in mayo and mystery meat, and today there was a pasta salad as well. No thanks, not going to risk it. Fortunately it was biscuits and bitter to the rescue again!

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Nov 282014
 

After making it through customs, I looked for my hotel driver who’d confirmed the day before that they would be waiting for me. No sign of them. However, plenty of taxi drivers more than willing to take me there. I waited 15 minutes to see if the hotel would show up, and with no sign of them, took one of the taxis up on their offer. They wouldn’t take New Zealand dollars, so changed some at the airport and we were off through the very dark night.

My hotel was near “downtown” Nuku’alofa, and was about a 30 minute drive from the airport. Finally got there around 8pm, rather late, and checked into my hotel the Little Italy hotel. I’d been advised it was the most comfortable option in Tonga, and really didn’t let me down…although the rooms looks like something out of your grandmother’s house:

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My room also came with a complimentary pet included:

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I was still pretty full from the plane, so decided to head down to the hotel restaurant for a glass of wine, a little dessert, and to read a bit of my book. The tiramisu was surprisingly excellent:

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Crashed early, and woke up just as the sun was rising. My flight was relatively early to Fiji, and I wanted to be sure I had plenty of time to explore before then. Breakfast was included with the hotel, and the Mona Lisa was supervising in the restaurant:

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Nov 282014
 

The flight wasn’t too early, so I was able to have a nice relaxing start to the morning in Auckland. When I finally did check out and head to the airport bus, I encountered the Aquarium bus on the way. Every city needs a shark bus!

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Check-in area was rather packed but Air New Zealand’s premium check-in is rather nice. Of course, it didn’t want to check me in at the kiosks, but with a little help from an agent I was checked in and on my way in five minutes. The nicest part of the premium check-in area is the private elevator up to immigration and security. It feeds into a private immigration line, and then into common security, but appeared to save several minutes.

I’d gotten to the airport several hours before the flight to catch up on a bit of work, so I was quite hungry for lunch by the time I arrived. Another reasonably good Mac’s beer and some tasty stew to start:

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Finished off with a MOA IPA which was quite delicious, and some sweets and cheese for dessert:

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Wifi in the lounge was quite good and I managed to get a good amount of work done, and about 45 minutes before the flight I headed down to the gate area, which was jam packed and standing room only.

Air New Zealand flight 274
Auckland, New Zealand (AKL) to Nuku’alofa, Tonga (TBU)
Depart 16:15, Arrive 19:10, Flight Time 2:55
Boeing 767-300, Registration ZK-NCK, Manufactured 1997, Seat 2A

Boarding began right on time, and bubbly was offered. The load was incredibly light in business today, since the plane had been switched from an all-economy A320 to a 767 about a week before the flight. More bubbles for me! Coach, however, appeared to be packed.

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Today’s dinner menu:

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This was my first flight with Air New Zealand, and I had high expectations based on what I’d heard from others. I mean, how can you not like an airline that shows Monty Python:

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Dinner started out with more bubbly, and a small bowl of nuts:

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Due to the light load, it was suggested I have multiple appetizers, both of which were quite good:

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The main was also pretty good as well, especially for a 2.5 hour flight:

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Plus, cheese and desert. Amazing service for such a short flight:

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Flight went very quickly, and soon we were on approach to Tonga. The crew had been excellent and friendly, although it was hard to tell how much of that was due to the extremely light load in business and how much was the usual excellent service. Either way, it was a fantastic flight despite the rather poor hard product for a 767.

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Tonga was taking Ebola extremely seriously, and a group of 10+ nurses in old-school white nurse uniforms met the passengers just inside the terminal and asked questions and distributed information cards:

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Immigration moved on island time and took over 30 minutes, but it was no big deal because all the fellow passengers were super chatty and friendly. It was great meeting a few people who’d been on the flight and they were all really excited that someone would come all the way around the world to visit Tonga.

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Nov 252014
 

Immigration was a piece of cake, and headed outside to look for the bus into the city. First impression: it’s COLD in Auckland. Granted, they were going through a bit of a cold snap, but coming from Brisbane where it was 30-33 degrees to Auckland where the high was 10 degrees and windy…I pretty much froze. Bus was really easy to figure out, the agent selling tickets was very helpful explaining the stops, etc, and about 45 minutes later we were at the last stop which was near my hotel.

I’d booked the Hilton Auckland with points for the one night I was there. I wasn’t thrilled with the location all the way down on the harbour, but for nice and free I wasn’t going to complain. When I had to shuffle things around due to the Fiji and Solomon Islands trade war, I ended up with a second night in Auckland. There was a problem, however. 90% of hotels were completely sold out (including the Hilton) and the other 10% were only selling rooms at last-minute prices of $400+. Ouch.

When I checked in, I mentioned my predicament to the agent (I still didn’t have a room for the second night at this point) and she said she’d see what she could do. About 15 minutes after I got to my room. She’d spoken to the GM, and they did have one room free for the second night. Since I was a Hilton Diamond member, the GM was willing to make me an offer. I’d pay full price for a standard room (ouch) but would get a room which had “just become available due to a change in plans from a VIP guest in town for a concert.” It was the largest suite in the hotel, and he assured me I would be thrilled with it. I bit the bullet. It avoided moving my bags, and I couldn’t resist.

Later that day, I found out the VIP in town was none other than Mariah Carey. Hah, I wonder if it was her room I was getting, or someone else’s.

By this point it was early evening, and since the hotel didn’t have an executive lounge, they gave me two vouchers good for drinks at the lobby bar. It was a nice social environment, and I got to try Mac’s Black beer. Rather tasty stuff! After my recent Brisbane public transport successes, I bought a transport card for Auckland and headed out to brave the busses. I was headed to SPQR for dinner, which I’d been to many years prior in my first visit to Auckland. It was tasty as I’d remembered, although also a bit more pretentious than I remembered from the previous visit. My waiter was an Italian, and the table next to me was Italian tourists, and he seemed far more interested in chatting with them than paying any attention to me. When I asked for a wine recommendation he instantly recommended the most expensive by-the-glass on the menu, which was definitely tasty, but always leaves a bad impression that they’re recommending based on price.

Decided to walk the 2.5 km back to my hotel since it was a nice evening:

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Great view looking back at the city from in front of the Hilton:

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Slept nearly 10 hours which felt absolutely wonderful, and then headed out to find caffeine. Starbucks. Predictable caffeine. Just one small problem…it was drizzling.

Great, so now in addiction to being windy and cold, it’s wet. About 500m into the walk, the skies opened up…and then I was saved. A company was handing out FREE umbrellas as advertisement! Can’t be a cheap promotion, but it was awesome!

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Nov 232014
 

Despite it being an early morning flight, I decided I would take the train to the airport in an attempt to be fiscally responsible. Actually, what sold me on the idea is the fact that there was a Starbucks across the street from the train station. Proper caffeination is essential for travel. Was there a few minutes before they opened at 6am, was caffeinated and out the door by 6:15 and on the way to the train station. Only about a 10 minute wait for a train, not too bad:

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The other great thing was that I only had about $5 left on my transit card, but they only check the balance when you enter the system. The ticket was way over $15, leaving my card with a balance of nearly $10 negative when I checked out. I guess this is part of the reason there’s a deposit to get the card. Bargain!

Check-in with Emirates was a bit of an unpleasant experience. Likely because there was nobody waiting to be served, the first class check-in person had called over someone from the economy line. Someone was a group of like 15 Chinese tourists. Unfortunately the business class line wouldn’t help me either, because there were people waiting to check-in for business class. All told, I was in line almost 20 minutes to check in, which is pretty much inexcusable for first class.

Off to the Emirates lounge, which is shared with first and business passengers. Somewhat surprised Emirates doesn’t offer separate lounges.

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That said, with Veuve on offer and a great buffet. it’s better than any first class lounge in North America, so can’t complain too badly.

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Only had about 15 minutes in the lounge, and then it was time to board. Boarding was done directly from the lounge, which is always a nice touch.

Emirates flight 434
Brisbane, Australia (BNE) to Auckland, New Zealand (AKL)
Depart 8:25, Arrive 14:35, Flight Time 3:10
Airbus A380, Registration A6-EDM, Manufactured 2010, Seat 2K

This was to be my second time on Emirates A380 in first. The first was a complete “accident.” I was flying on a United award from Dubai-Frankfurt-London with Lufthansa in first, connection to a paid United ticket from London to Washington. Unfortunately, the Dubai-Frankfurt had a minimum two hour mechanical delay, meaning there was no way I would make it to London in time for my connection. I pulled up ExpertFlyer, and saw there was a direct Dubai-London on Emirates A380, and decided to try my luck with the Lufthansa agents. They had to call the station manager, but he approved it! Talk about taking care of passengers when things go badly!

The seat/suite was just as nice as I remember:

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Something to drink? I suppose the Moet will do for a pre-departure drink. In fairness, the flight attendant was very apologetic. I’m always surprised airlines are too cheap to pay the duty on liquor to serve the good stuff on the ground.

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This was a breakfast flight, and due to the relatively short flight service started immediately after takeoff…when the bubbles were upgraded to Dom. Much better!

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Bread. On a plate. Take note United.

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Another glass of Dom? Don’t mind if I do!

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Decided to go with the sweet option, and the apple crepes didn’t disappoint:

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Cabin shot…I’m not a fan of the Emirates bling, but…

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Today’s bubbles selection:

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Didn’t have any, but the wine list was rather unimpressive I thought:

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The breakfast menu:

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Now, let’s get to the real fun. Emirates is the only commercial airline where you can shower on board, and it’s exclusive to the A380. In addition, Emirates was offering the first 100MB of WiFi for free on this flight, with a small $1 charge for additional usage. This was going to require the first-ever live in-flight shower posting.

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The shower stall:

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Back to the seat and feeling refreshed…with more Dom of course.

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One of the very few flights I’ve taken where I can honestly say it went by way too quickly. I would have definitely liked a few more hours to enjoy the service, but it was not to be. Perhaps another time. I’ll save the comparisons of Emirates first for the trip post-mortem after it’s all over, but it was an overall solid experience.

Nov 232014
 

I should subtitle this entry “because there hasn’t been enough drama already” but I’ll resist. Woke up to an email…my Virgin Australia flight had been canceled. For some reason, the inbound was canceled so might flight was canceled as well. Called Virgin, and they said “no problem, you’ve been rebooked for tomorrow.” Um, I don’t want to go tomorrow, I want to go today. Ugh.

Fortunately, my good friends at Solomons Air also had a flight that day…but Virgin wouldn’t rebook me on it. It actually took nearly 30 minutes of fighting to get them to agree to give me a refund. Ugh. There was an upside though – the new flight on Solomons wasn’t actually about $100 cheaper booked day of…so in the end, things actually worked out well!

Got to the airport only about an hour before the flight after all the drama, but no problems at all. Checked in, got the exit row again, and life was grand.

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Oh look, same plane as a couple days prior! That’s because Solomons only has one jet…

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Welkam on board!

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Solomons Airlines flight 700
Honiara, Solomon Islands (HIR) to Brisbane, Australia (BNE)
Depart 15:00, Arrive 17:15, Flight Time 3:15
Airbus A320, Registration H4-BUS (ex Air Canada) Manufactured 1992, Seat 15C

The flight was only about half full today, which meant I had the entire exit row to myself. Score! Double score…there was no sketchy sandwiich on this flight but a proper meal. It was described as “beef” and was actually reasonably tasty:

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Quick shot how the “other half” lives on the way out.

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Landed right on time, and decided to give the eGates at Australian immigration a try, not wanting a repeat of my experience coming into Darwin. It worked like a charm, and soon I was on the airport express train downtown and back to the Four Points hotel. The downtown area was an absolute security nightmare, with the G20 set to happen in a couple of days.

Checked in, had a quick shower, and headed out to get some dinner. While I was talking to the front desk lady about something, I heard a loud popping sound, kind of like if someone had popped a giant piece of bubble wrap. I looked around expecting to see something broken, on fire, something. What I didn’t expect to see is a giant flying creature that apparently I had stepped on.

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Quiet evening, caught up on sleep a bit, and then had another full day to decide what to do. With the giant security mess, I decided I would get out of dodge for the day and see something new. Caught the train down to the Gold Coast…or at least attempted to. It took me like three tries to figure out the trains…because not every train goes to every station. Then you need to take a bus. Then, your iPhone decides to die when the bus drops you off, so you have no idea where anything is in town. Yeah, that.

Grabbed some lunch, and my iPhone decided to come back to life. I had an email from my hotel…note this was about 2pm. The email told me they were sorry, but needed me to move out of my upgraded room to my original room no later than 4pm. Um, you told me at check-in I had the room for both nights. Replied that I’m sorry, at the beach for the day, but happy to discuss with them when I return. This was followed up by an email instructing me if I couldn’t move on time, I would have to pay for the upgraded room. Uh, you expect people to sit around their hotel all day waiting? Then, they offered to pack up my belongings and move them for me. Um, no. That’s a recipe  for things to get lost and the blame game to start.

Finally, sent them an email saying I was really disappointed in the way they were treating a platinum member over what is a $50 a night upgrade. (It was just a high floor room.) They went silent. When I got back later, the new manager on duty was very apologetic, offered Starpoints in compensation, said I could keep the room, and said “this whole situation could have been handled much better.” Ok, apology accepted.

Back to enjoying the beach. Wandered around for a bit, and what do we have here:

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Couldn’t resist, and had a very fun hour or so trying! Sometimes, the most fun travel experiences are the ones that are totally unplanned. I went down to the Gold Coast with no plans what so ever, and ended up having an unexpected great time.

A few shots of the beach at Surfers Paradise:

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Post-surfing lesson reward. Mmmm…

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Surfers Paradise has this meter maid thing down. I think I’m going to suggest to DC that they make this the meter maid uniform in DC as well:

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Caught the train back in time to get some quick dinner before crashing early. It had been an unexpectedly busy day going down to the beach (rough life, I know) and was going to be an even earlier morning with the flight to Auckland!

Nov 222014
 

Taxi driver was quite chatty, which I later learnt was because he was hoping to negotiate with me to be my driver for the entire time I was in the country. Decided to pass on his generous offer, and in no time was at my hotel, the King Solomon. Online reviews of all the hotels in Honiara were rather mixed, so I decided to go with this one since I was told it had the most local character, and met my three C requirements: clean, cool, and comfortable. Well, the lobby was certainly festive at least:

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Check-in was…interesting. No credit card asked for, no nothing, more of a here’s your key…enjoy. Um, ok. Unfortunately, the first room had broken AC and the second I tried was just marginally better. Decided to stick with the second, because the room was at least a bit larger. When I’d booked online, it was very unclear what the difference was between all the room categories, so I decided to book the cheapest one and hope for the best. It seemed based on the AC muck up I might have gotten upgraded, but it was hard to tell since the staff never wanted to say more than two or three words to me.

Spent my first afternoon just walking around central Honiara, and taking it all in. There really wasn’t too much to see it appeared, but it was one of those places where people watching was the highlight. Unfortunately, it was late Sunday afternoon so everything was closed, and that combined with the sweltering heat and humidity cut the afternoon short. I decided to decamp to the hotel pool, which seemed to be where all the local long-term expat residents congregate on Sunday afternoons and get absolutely trashed. I mean fall down drunk. It was a rather depressing example of expats behaving badly. I mean, I’m far from a teatotler but it always surprises me in some of the more developing countries just how much drinking / partying / smoking goes on in the expat community. Is it a case of “nothing else to do” or something else? Observations?

After pool time and a drink at the hotel bar, decided to stay in for dinner as I was advised nothing was open on Sunday evening really, and safety is a concern. Plus, I was told the food at the hotel was probably better than anything I’d find outside anyways. Seems some nights, the hotel does dinner and a performance. I was seated right next to the stage:

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The King Solomon restaurant. I sat down for nearly ten minutes before I realized the staff had no interest in waiting on me and if I wanted anything I was going to have to go up to the front counter and order. The choice was some meat and potatoes dish, or pizza. The pizza was recommended online as being pretty good, so I decided to go with that:

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Chicken satay pizza and a SB beer. Pretty darn tasty:

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Gee, I wonder where the hotel stole…I mean got…their napkins from…

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An observation on dinner..I was getting the impression that the Solomon Islands are kind of like Australia’s Thailand. There were two tables in the restaurant where groups of heavyset middle-aged Australian men (40s-50s) were having dinner with the Solomon Islander “girlfriends” who looked to be barely 20, if that. The poor girls were eating like they’d never seen food before, until in a few cases the men informed them they were done and going back to the room. Ugh. Honestly, it made me really uncomfortable and was rather depressing.

I ended up chatting briefly with an American guy who was having dinner alone, and he said that in many cases people come here for a few months for work, live at this hotel, meet local girls, and then end up staying for years in some cases. He said that the majority of the people at the hotel were long-term residents, several months minimum.

Onto more interesting topics, did I mention the hotel had a funicular for getting to the rooms? Awesome!

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Slept in slightly the next day before going diving. The visibility wasn’t all that great, but dove two different World War Two wrecks that were easy dives from shore. Both gradually sloped down to between 110 and 130 feet, and were really cool to see. The first wreck was the Hirokawa Maru, also known as Bonegi I. It’s a Japanese transport ship of 6860 tons with an overall length of 508 feet. The bottom sits at about 160 feet, although we didn’t go that far down.

The second dive was the wreck of the Kinugawa Maru, also know as Bonegi II. This was a 436 foot long transport ship as well, with part sitting just above the water line. The stern sits in about 90 feet of water, so was really easy to explore. Overall they were both great dives, and I’m bummed I forgot to charge my camera battery so didn’t manage to get any pictures.

After the dives, grabbed lunch at a local cafe which seemed to be where all the wives of the local expats hung out. It was seriously like a ladies who lunch convention.

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Back to the hotel, where I chilled out for the evening, had more pizza, and just relaxed since I was leaving rather early the next morning. The entrance to the hotel. Welkam!

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Posing with the goofy lobby statue:

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The next morning, settled the bill…which took nearly 30 minutes partly because the staff weren’t interested in moving quickly and partly because there were so many slips of paper to sort out and add up. Finally got things sorted, and it was off to the airport for a few relaxing days in Brisbane and Auckland before continuing with more island hopping!

Nov 202014
 

I seemed to remember the airport in Port Vila being rather small from my trip a few years ago, but Priority Pass also promised that there was a lounge, so I made plans to get there around two hours before flight time just in case Solomons Air  presented any problems.

Took nearly 30 minutes to check in due to a long line…I mean, based on the sign it was an incredibly busy airport today!

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Checked in, got the exit row, no problems about having two bags and likely being slightly overweight, and soon it was time for “pre-boarding metal detecting” whatever that is. I mean, it’s not like this has been going on for nearly fifty years now!

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Our plane was already here (from the night before it appeared) so that was a good sign!

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Found the lounge, which was a rather tiny room, with this impressive snack collection. Although the crisps were asking “BITE ME!” on the package, I resisted, having already bitten brekky back at the hotel.

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The lounge. Yes, this is all of it.

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It was still early. Too early for a beer. However, leave it to Kiwis to set a bad example. After I’d been there 15 minutes, a guy waiting for the New Zealand flight came in, plopped down next to me, and headed straight for the serve yourself bar…where he put away three rather large glasses of white wine in the span of 15 minutes. When he went for a fourth, I decided it wasn’t too early for a beer after all:

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More pidgin in their slogan “bia blong yumi” Bia, obviously, being beer, and yumi being self explanatory. Blong is a pidgin word that seems to appear everywhere. I ecountered it during  my first trip to Vanuatu when the then-Le Meridien gave me a sheet of helpful local phrases. One of them was “baskit blong titi.” Baskit being basket, titi being, well, breasts, and blong showing possession. They translated it as “coconut bra” which I guess made sense as a “basket for titis.” So Bia Blong Yumi is a way of saying Yumi is a quality that is owned by the beer. Got it? Good.

Boarded about 15 minutes late, but no biggie.

Solomons Airlines flight 703
Port Vila, Vanuatu (VLI) to Honiara, Solomon Islands (HIR)
Depart 11:00, Arrive 13:00, Flight Time 2 hours
Airbus A320, Registration H4-BUS (ex Air Canada) Manufactured 1992, Seat 15C

The flight was completely full today, but I had the exit row so no worries. I saw many of my new friends from the diversion to Espiritu Santo on this flight, and it was really showing the impact that cutting direct flights was having. Quick shot of the airport from my seat:

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Oh, look what we have in the in-flight magazine. An explanation of what’s going on!

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One hour forty minute flight, and the interior of the aircraft was absolutely spotless. Looking on line, I saw the plane was ancient and spent a previous life with Air Canada, but it had obviously been refurbished lately and was very well taken care of since then. If you didn’t know how old it was you’d have no clue.

“Meat sandwich” was the snack. I opted to stick with a SolBrew and the cookies. Scary mayonnaise and I don’t mix.

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Landed right on time, and immigration was a zoo. It was boiling hot in the immigration waiting area, and the lines were moving at Solomons speed. There was one person checking passport, and another half dozen or so standing around doing God knows what. “Supervising” would be my guess. Took over an hour to get through the passport line, and when I did the promised hotel transfer was of course no where to be found. No problem negotiating a taxi, and it was time to explore country #166 visited…Solomon Islands!

Nov 192014
 

By the time I finally got to my hotel, it was after 8pm already, and I was tired from a long day. Managed to resist ordering room service, and fortunately there was a “sports bar” across the street that TripAdvisor said served reasonable pizzas. They also had their own craft beer, which was surprisingly good:

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The upside of having two nights in Vanuatu is it meant another country I’d get the opportunity to dive in…however, that meant getting up early. Based on online reviews I paid a little extra for a “panorama view room” and it was well worth it in the morning to have a 270 degree+ view of the harbour. The Grand Hotel and Casino was well-located, and a good choice. Comfortable, cool, and clean, my three basic requirements as well as a decent location:

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…and THIS is how you get ants:

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Since I had the whole day and wasn’t flying until later the following day, I had the whole day to go diving. I chose Big Blue since they appeared to be the largest operator in Port Vila, and were willing to do a hotel pick-up. They changed the plan the day before, and said they’d send a boat to pick me up at the jetty next to my hotel. Cool! It was about 15 minutes late, but hey, island time!

First two dives were wreck dives, the first being the deepest dive I’ve ever done going straight down to 140 feet before gradually swimming up the wreck:

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It’s dark down at 140 feet…

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Continue reading »

Nov 182014
 

So, Vanuatu. I wasn’t planning on coming to Vanuatu. I was there nearly ten years ago, and had checked that one off the country visiting list. But, yet, somehow this blog entry features Vanuatu. If you’re going to guess this has something to do with Fiji Airways, of course, you’re correct!

About two weeks before the trip started, I called Fiji Airways to enquire about making a change to my reservation. I had originally booked Nadi-Suva-Tuvalu on a Tuesday (which went tits up as you saw in previous posts) and the Tuvalu-Suva on a Thursday, followed by Suva-Nadi on Friday morning so I could spend a night checking out Suva. Little did I know at the time all the drama that would revolve around Tuvalu.

However, Fiji Airways referred me to Expedia to make the change since I’d booked with them. Expedia tried, but couldn’t…and they couldn’t figure out why. I called Fiji Airways back to ask why Expedia couldn’t. They didn’t even want to tell me…but finally I convinced them that I wasn’t asking them to touch the reservation, just to look and see if they could figure out why Expedia might be having trouble. Oh yes, after Fiji you are scheduled to fly to Honiara, Solomon Islands. We no longer operate that flight due to a trade dispute with the Solomon Islands.

This was two weeks before the trip started, and I was going to have to completely replan the middle two weeks of the trip. It took me about two days to reconfigure things, then, I had to call Expedia to book. Needless to say, I will never book with Expedia again. It took a total of 24 calls to Expedia, over 11 hours of total call time. 6 times, I worked with an agent or was on hold for more than an hour, before getting “disconnected.” What a coincidence, just when the agent was getting frustrated they disconnected me.

I also spoke to a woman with an Indian accent who claimed her name was Bubbles. Bubbles was helpful, until she hung up on me. I also spoke to a woman claiming to be “Diana Ross.” She was less helpful. This went on and on. One unhelpful chap, after nearly 90 minutes on the phone told me if I wanted a refund, it was all or nothing. The full ticket with all my Fiji segments. After days of fighting, this seemed like my best option even if the rebooking would cost me nearly $500 more. I called back to do this…no, you can only cancel the flight which is no longer operating. Escalate, escalate, get Tier 3 report. She goes back to “pull the recording” to see if he really told me that was an option. Two days later, she calls back. “I have granted your full refund.” Oh phew. All rebooked via Fiji Airways website, and going from Fiji to Solomon Islands via Vanuatu now.

I figured at least being booked directly with Fiji Airways, if something further went wrong (little did I know how much would go wrong with Fiji Airways) they would be empowered to touch the reservation. Did I mention I’m still waiting on that Tuvalu refund? Hah!

Ok, so Vanuatu. That’s why I’m going to Vanuatu!

Oh, one little detail I forgot earlier. When the Tuvalu mess finally got canned, I asked about the duty free which customs was holding. Nope, they wouldn’t release it. That’s illegal. But wait, you’re going to Vanuatu tomorrow, right? We will arrange with customs to transport it in secure transport to the customs facility at Nadi where you can pick it up inside security before you head to Vanuatu.

Uh, right, the chance of that happening is…

So, check-in for my flight. Fiji Airways check-in is pleasant, she even waives the 4 kilos of overweight baggage. Security, passport check, and then ask the guy at the customs desk about the wine. He seems surprised. “No, no, no such thing is possible. Well, maybe possible. But no, no, that would never happen.” Yeah, pretty much my thought when they told me that in Suva. “But let me call arrivals customs” Whoah, it’s in Nadi, and Customs has it. One problem: it’s in arrivals. After security. It’s liquid. My bags are checked, and even if they weren’t I’m not putting two bottles of red wine in my bags.

The customs agent is amused. He wants to solve this. It’s a quest now. He escorts me through back corridors of the airport, dismisses lowly security staff with the waive of a hand, and soon we’re in the arrivals area. Back in Fiji. Remember, I’d already been stamped out of Fiji. No matter. Mr Sharma is on a mission. Look what we got:

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But we have a problem. We’re outside security. They won’t even let Mr Sharma past security with liquids. Never mind the fact it’s been in customs bonded control this whole time. Never mind the fact there’s a whole Duty Free store of liquids inside security, and if you can’t trust customs to bring them inside who can you trust. Oh, Mr Sharma knows who you can trust. Airline employees can go through security with any liquids they want. He finds a Fiji Airways agent outside security. Orders them to carry this through security for him. (Remember those questions you get about “have you packed your own bags?) The agent agrees, and says he’ll meet me on the other side of security. Mr. Sharma escorts me back out of Fiji, since I technically never left. Guess who’s on the other side? Yup, Fiji Airways agent with the Duty Free. It was a beautiful example of nonsensical bureaucratic security theatre. All’s well that ends well.

Well, not really. When I tried the wine later, it had gone off. Both bottles. Ugh. Hahahah.

Back to the flight. Parked on the tarmac was VP-BNZ a corporate jet belonging to Gazpromavia. Looks like some Russian oil billionaire was either relaxing in Fiji, or buying up a large part of Fiji. Hard to tell which.

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Boarding, surprisingly, was pretty much on time, and away we go to Port Vila.

Fiji Airways Flight 263
Nadi, Fiji (NAN) to Port Vila, Vanuatu (VLI)
Depart 14:30, Arrive 16:00, Flight Time 2:30
Aerospatiale ATR 72, Registration DQ-FJZ Manufactured 2014, Seat 3D

We even got a snack and complimentary drinks. Had a can of Fiji Bitter, but the chicken sandwich smelled a bit off. I wasn’t going to risk it.

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About 15 minutes after scheduled landing, we still weren’t descending. I’ve flown enough that my Fiji-Airways-Drama-Dar was going off big time. Something was up. I went to corner the flight attendants. “Yes, do not tell the other passengers, but the Captain informs me we may divert the plane to Santo.” Um, where is Santo? What country is that? It seems it’s Vanuatu, and there’s bad weather in Port Vila. You must be kidding me…yay for more Fiji Airways drama. In thousands of flights only my third ever in flight diversion…figures it would be Fiji Airways.

15 minutes later, the Captain confirms. We’re going to Santo. The rest of the passengers appear completely unsurprised. They’ve clearly flown Drama Airways before. Oh, did I mention 2/3 of the passengers were from Solomon Islands and doing the same thing I was? Dear stupid diplomats, get your shit sorted. You’re inconveniencing the very people you’re supposed to be working for.

Landed in Santo, where at least there was a bit of a rainbow awaiting us:

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We sat on the plane for nearly an hour, slowly broiling in the tropical sun, until they finally let us off and into a waiting room. Some planes waiting around at Santo:

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Another hour or so later, the weather in Port Vila had “cleared enough that we can try” so walked back through the big puddles on the tarmac to the plane.

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Fiji Airways Flight 263
Espiritu Santo, Vanuatu (SON) to Port Vila, Vanuatu (VLI)
Depart 18:15, Arrive 19:10, Flight Time 55 minutes
Aerospatiale ATR 72, Registration DQ-FJZ Manufactured 2014, Seat 3D

Flight was bumpy, very bumpy, but not terribly eventful. We finally made it to Vanuatu a few hours later than planned (all said and done, I suppose that’s not bad for Fiji Airways) where it was through immigration and off to the hotel. If I was going to spend two nights there, at least I was going to get some diving in!