Zurich to Washington in United business
Thankfully, and this might be the only time I say this, my room at the Sheraton was nice and warm, because I woke up with a full-blown cold and it felt quite nice cuddled into the comforter. Unfortunately, that made it harder to get going in the morning. I really enjoyed this hotel, and definitely want to go back and spend a bit longer there, especially when not sick.
Walked the 10+ minutes to the train in the freezing cold, sniffling the whole way, and had an effortless trip to the airport. I remember being on the platform and thinking…I want to move here. Things just work so well in Switzerland, and every time I’m there I’m in a good mood. Random thoughts for the day…
Got to the airport, and let’s be honest, important first stop this early in the morning: Starbucks. The one thing I can do flawlessly in German in order Starbucks…but she insisted on speaking English back to me. Silly accents…especially because she clearly wasn’t a native German speaker either. So, I retaliated…in French. It’s an official language after all 😉 It was a fun exchange, I got caffeine, and all was right with the world.
Oh, speaking of, I noted down the price…The Economist always publishes their Big Mac index, so I’ve started keeping a “Starbucks Index” since it conveys something slightly difference. McDonalds want’s to be a bit of a commodity while Starbucks’ niche in the market I feel is a bit more of a snob appeal. So that said, a grande drip goes for 5,20 francs at the Zurich airport, or $5.30 at current rates, making it the most expensive place to have Starbucks in the world. If anyone would like to contribute to my research project, feel free to send me the price of a grande drip (tax included) along with location and date. Thanks!
Oh…and I had a chocolate muffin, but we don’t need to talk about that. This was my second one of the week (remember, Frankfurt last week on the way back from the South Pacific) and it’s a horrible holiday influence. Oh, that and Christmas Blend Espresso…but on with the important stuff…I don’t really mean half this blog to be about Starbucks…
Security was a complete non-event and then it was off to the SWISS Senator Lounge. I had a bit of work to do, and full of chocolate muffin and caffeine I’m afraid I can’t discuss the food. Seating was plentiful, finding an outlet was easy, and there was plenty of water to hydrate before flying. For some reason the SWISS Senator Lounge feels so much more peaceful than Lufthansa, where it feels like it’s a giant crowded mess first thing in the morning.
On to the gate…
Upon boarding with my mobile boarding pass, I got the beep beep beep, because apparently I had to re-check-in in Zurich and get asked those oh-so-helpful “did you pack your bag?” “has your bag been with you?” “are there any electronics in it?” questions. I’m sorry, but after Israeli security it felt absolutely ridiculous. These agents (not these in particular, but in European airports in general who screen the US-carrier flights to the US) seem like barely-trained rent-a-cops who couldn’t spot a security risk if it jumped up and screamed it. Anyways….by this point most of the flight had boarded, but fortunately I found space for my admittedly-large carry-ons. On with the show!
United flight 993
Zürich, Switzerland (ZRH) to Newark, New Jersey (EWR)
Depart 10:20, Arrive 13:55, Flight Time 9:35
Boeing 767-300, Registration N642UA, Manufactured 1991, Seat 7H
Enjoying a glass of Jeff Perignon as a pre-departure beverage, it was time to explore what was to eat:
My seatmate was rather chatty, but fortunately he was also rather interesting to chat with and after a few minutes of chatting (and drinking…we got refills) went back to his own business. Took off right on time, and it was time to enjoy the delights of United BusinessFirst. First. Hah. Sorry, moving on…
A glass of Château Haut-Jeffrois and some high class split-nuts:
The garlic bread, as always, made up for any shortcomings. United’s insistence on weird fruit-cream dressings continues, but this passionfruit one was actually kind of interesting. That said, give me a creamy parmesan, or peppercorn, or ranch any time. I’m classy like that.
The appetizer? A tiny piece of salmon and one shrimp? Seriously, I’ve seen better seafood selections in a developing country fish market. Just sad. Normally, I would let this go under the category of “you get what you pay for” since the majority of United business class is often upgrades, but since this was a paid business class fare I’m going to let out the full snark.
The tenderloin of beef. The veggies were ok. The beef…well, I’ve eaten lots of business class beef on united over the years, and I’ve come to expect it medium well or so. This poor beef, however, was beyond salvageable. It literally had to be sawed through with the knife, and even that was a Herculean effort. It was so tough it felt like chewing on cardboard. I have low expectations on airline beef, but often choose it because it sounds better than the chicken….and I refuse to touch fish on planes. I’ve seen Airplane one too many times.
I did the unthinkable on United…and rang the flight attendant call button.
Big mistake. After around five minutes a flight attendant finally came by, and her response: “what do you want?” I tried to be as nice as possible, and said “unfortunately this beef isn’t very good…would it be possible to get one of the other meals if there are any left?” Her response? “No. Everything is gone.” and she walked away. Sensing a battle I couldn’t win I admitted defeat. Fortunately, the flight attendant in the other aisle (these are the benefits of sitting in the middle) was generously refilling wine, so I was able to keep a level head and ignore the issue.
At least there was cheese:
I didn’t dare pull my “if there is any left after everyone has had some” question on the cheese with this crew. I appreciated what I got and left it at that.
Today’s sundae was “caramel with cherries” and the cherry count was four. Another datapoint.
Watched a few hours of tv on the iPad, napped a little, blah blah blah, and soon it was snack time.
Seriously…a half of wrap and some rather sad fruit? The wrap looked so lonely I’m pretty sure the crew stole 1/2 of each one and ate it and only gave the passengers half of a wrap…or something like that. It just looks way too awkward on the plate like that. Throw in the same chocolates that have been sitting on the snack cart the entire flight and you have a classy meal.
Landed about five minutes ahead of schedule, turned on my phone and…flight to DC was canceled. Ok, no biggie, I’m sure there are backup options…pull up United.com to look at my reservation…I’d been rebooked for the next day at 6pm. Over 28 hours later. It was raining lightly at Newark, and of course the reason for cancelation was “weather.” Ugh. There was, fortunately, another flight headed to DCA in 50 minutes, but it was overbooked by four people.
Fortunately no problems with Global Entry, security only had about a five minute wait for pre-check, and I made a beeline for the United Club to get added to the standby list. The agent was super efficient and helpful, but of course with my luck, the flight was departing from Terminal A. Ran for the shuttle bus, fortunately little wait, and got to the gate right as boarding was starting.
After everyone appeared to have boarded, I very nicely asked the agent how many were boarded and if there was a chance I might make it. “Just wait and you’ll find out.” Um, ok. I seriously will never understand why when it takes no extra effort to be kind and helpful to someone some people make it their mission to be rude and nasty. Ugh. I was the only one on standby, so it shouldn’t have been a big deal.
Five minutes before departure time it was obvious there were missed connections, and she cleared me into a window seat. I asked if there were other open seats. “Be happy you’re on the flight.” and that was it. The takeaway I’d give United is…top elite passenger on a paid business class fare, you cancel their flight, and then an agent tells them they should just be happy to be downgraded and be on the flight. What sort of impression do you think that leaves with your customers?
I should know better…
United flight 5677, operated by ExpressJet
Newark, New Jersey (EWR) to Washington DC, National (DCA)
Depart 14:55, Arrive 16:06, Flight Time 1:11
Embraer ERJ-145, Registration N14570, Manufactured 2002, Seat 4D
Nothing to say about this flight. No drink service “due to the length of the flight” but at least I got to DC the same day instead of with a 24 hour delay. That shouldn’t be something to be happy for all things considered, but at this point it was.
The takeaway for me is – I’ve become the type of customer United seems to want. Paid business fares, not even using up all the upgrades I earn, requalifying on dollars basis…yet, they treat me poorly. It makes me reevaluate why I bother. The simple reason is, I live in the US, and still do a small to medium amount of domestic travel. If I joined another Star Alliance program, I’d get even fewer benefits, and zero transatlantic upgrades if I chose to use them. The service on United may be poor much of the time, but living in their hub at least I have options when things go wrong. As a non-elite I can pretty much guarantee I would have been screwed in Newark another 24 hours.
So, for now, I’ll continue to settle…and be happy in an abusive relationship.
Recently discovered your blog and am enjoying reading this most recent trip report. I still struggle to understand why anyone voluntaily flies with United? Recognizing US based airlines dont compare to Asian or Middle Eastern carriers but at least on Delta their employees act like they are moderately happy and understand that paying customers keep them employed. UA should be ashamed to read so much negative, yet accurate feedback.
I went to a Starbucks in Helsinki today (Dec 31, 2014), and a grande coffee (Xmas Blend) was 3.5 Euros (or $4.24 at today’s exchange rate).