Feb 072014
 

See, there’s a reason I didn’t give much more info in the title of this entry.

Initially, I had a placeholder booked, hoping that closer to the date of return, I could improve on my routing. The initial (admittedly terrible) plan was:

Praia, Cape Verde (RAI) to Lisbon, Portugal (LIS) in TAP Business
Lisbon, Portugal to Geneva, Switzerland (GVA) in TAP Business
Geneva, Switzerland to Montreal, Canada (YUL) in Air Canada Business
Montreal, Canada to Toronto, Canada (YYZ) in Air Canada Business
Toronto, Canada to Newark, New Jersey (EWR) in United Express First
Newark, New Jersey to Washington, National (DCA) in United Express First

Yeah, I’m serious. I was mentally preparing myself to fly that just in case it came down to it. Fortunately, about a week before, award space opened up, and I switched to:

Praia, Cape Verde (RAI) to Lisbon, Portugal (LIS) in TAP Business
Lisbon, Portugal to Brussels, Belgium (BRU) in TAP Business
Brussels, Belgium to Washington, Dulles (IAD) in United First

Yes, I was using miles for United First, but it got me home nearly 8 hours earlier. Plus, my connection in Lisbon would only be an hour, and about 1:20 in Brussels, so much better connection times. Life was looking up!

Little did I know, my favourite furry friend was about to pay me a visit.

drama-llama

But, I’m getting ahead of myself.

Got to Praia Airport approximately two hours before my flight, because TAP wouldn’t let me check in online and I wanted to try and get a decent seat for the 4 hour middle of the night redeye in economy seats. Blech. There were two check-in lines, one for business and one for economy. However, with no business passengers, all the economy people were filling up both lines. I walked to the front, told the check-in agent business class, and she said she’d help me next. Yeah, that went over really well with the others in line…they were on the verge of rioting. No way was the white guy going to pull the “I deserve service before you card.” Fortunately, the agent had my back, as did the rather rotund Lebanese gentleman who arrived for the business class line a minute later. Soon I was checked in, and ready to head to the lounge.

Only, there is no lounge. Just an immigration queue that was nearly 20 minutes long, and somewhere around 30C plus with no breeze in the room. And only two agents working, both of who were preoccupied with mothers with small children who lacked proof that daddy was ok with them taking the children out of the country. 20 minutes became 30 minutes, became 40 minutes, and finally we were through.

Security was next, which took 5 minutes. Well, it WOULD have taken five minutes if one of those small children hadn’t decided they would go for a stroll…right through the metal detectors…and mom ran after them. The entire terminal was emptied….nah, just kidding. Only TSA would pull that. These guys just shrugged and kept on processing people. Mom finally appeared over five minutes later, and they just waved her through. Uh, you know you never checked her…right? Ah, Africa…how I’ll miss you.

So now, we’d wait. The plane had left Lisbon 20 minutes late, meaning best case my connection would be down to 40 minutes.

Thus, I went to the lounge to wait.  Ooops, no lounge, just one large room filled with TAP and TACV passengers.  Nearly 500 people on delayed flights who were getting anxious.  So, I did the only thing I could do, I visited the snack shop, aka “Nice Burger.”    I used google translate to say “can I pay US dollars for a beer”  yes, I could.  It was time for a beer.  10 minutes later, it was time for another.  When the crowds started getting rowdy, I opted for a third…only there were no more.  This explained why people were getting increasingly agitated, and there was lots more yelling and pushing going on.

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Finally, our plane arrived, and if they could turn it around in 30 minutes, we’d only be 20 minutes late.  20 minutes came and went, and we still hadn’t boarded.  Then, they announced boarding would begin…but they didn’t announce if it was for the delayed TAP flight or the 3+ hour delayed TACV flight to Paris.  So naturally, all 500 people swarmed the agents at once.  Eventually, it was sorted.  BOTH flights were boarding, from two doors less than 5 feet apart.  The agents were having a hell of a time trying to sort out the passengers, but somehow…it happened.  I breathed a sigh of relief when I finally got on board.

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