Sep 162017
 

Grabbed an Uber back to the airport in Perth, where I learned that Perth airport is actually four different terminals – two of which are connected together for domestic flights, and two more for international flights. The domestic terminal was pretty small, and it was super easy to get a boarding pass from the kiosk and I think I was through security in less than five minutes after getting out of the Uber.

It was kind of cool seeing the departures board with all the “exotic” place names from all over Australia:

I wasn’t entirely sure which of the two Qantas lounges (the “Qantas Club” or the “Domestic Business Lounge”) was the better of the two but a quick google found several reviews which suggested the domestic business lounge was actually better, and based on the dress code seems I made the right choice. I can think of some Admirals Clubs and United Clubs that could benefit from a sign like this!

Gift shop just outside the lounge….it was very tempting to get koala oven mitts…

The lounge was a nice place to spend an hour or so, with a rather nice buffet, fresh pizza constantly being made, and plenty of space. I can imagine how it might get crowded at certain times, but when I was there it was rather pleasant. Some tasty mezze and a Diet Coke while I waited…

Boarding was just two gates over from the lounge, and a rather civilized affair, although just like domestic flights in the US everyone started swarming the boarding lanes at least 15 minutes prior to boarding.

Qantas flight 476
Perth, Australia (PER) to Melbourne, Australia (MEL)
Depart 12:55, Arrive 18:25, Flight Time: 3:30
Airbus A330-200, Registration VH-EBA, Manufactured 2002, Seat 1A
Miles Flown Year-to-Date: 88,759
Lifetime Miles Flown: 2,465,736

Now this is a treat…great lie-flat international seats for a domestic flight! Comfortable, spacious, plenty of storage space, and overall nicely designed!

What’s this trickery, a menu on a domestic flight?!

For some reason, despite booking months in advance, Qantas had 75% of the seatmap blocked and the only seat I could select was in the very last row. Fortunately, their app works pretty well, and shortly after checkin 1A opened up and I grabbed it.

One of my favourite parts of flying over Australia is it always seems I get to see some amazing weather. Look at that crazy localized downpour:

Almonds and a glass of wine to start off…

The smoked trout with papaya, pomelo, and chili was delicious, and the bread even came with artisan butter!

Second lamb chop in two days! Seems to be something I never se on a plane, and here it was twice in two days. Maybe it’s a Perth thing, who knows. It was super tasty though!

What is this sorcery, a cheese plate on a domestic flight? Though I’m not sure what this fetish Qantas seems to have for almonds is…

Cheese AND dessert. I swear Australia has the best ice cream flavours. Honeycomb and caramel, mmm…and yes, that’s a glass of dessert wine. On a domestic flight. Crazy.

Overall, I was super impressed by Qantas on this flight. This blew away any transcontinental service you might find in the US, of which the best may be American’s 777 between Miami and LA. United’s premium transcon service doesn’t even come close in my book.

Although Qantas seems to get mixed reviews on international routes, all my experiences domestically continue to be absolutely fantastic.

Landing was about 20 minutes ahead of schedule, and when I walked into the lounge in Melbourne I noticed that there was a 7pm flight to Sydney (I was booked on the 8pm) and asked the agent if I might be moved to the earlier flight. Despite being on an award ticket, this was no problem at all, and I would make it into Sydney an hour sooner. Great customer service as well!

Qantas flight 462
Melbourne, Australia (MEL) to Sydney, Australia (SYD)
Depart 19:00, Arrive 20:25, Flight Time: 1:25
Boeing 737-800, Registration VH-VZX, Manufactured 2012, Seat 3A
Miles Flown Year-to-Date: 89,198
Lifetime Miles Flown: 2,466,175

Wasn’t really hungry on this flight after the rather substantial meal in the previous flight from Perth but was super excited to have the seat next to me empty…until right before the door closed.

Not too sure who my seatmate was, but he was clearly a Qantas employee and someone extremely important based on the extremely polite and deferential way the crew were acting towards him. I got the impression he was some major senior executive – potentially CEO/President level based on the way the crew was going about making sure everything was just perfect.

Unfortunately it was dark and I couldn’t get the lighting right to take a good picture, but for a 75 minute flight they served an impressive hot mean which I pecked and and can confirm it was pretty tasty!

Arriving Sydney an hour ahead of schedule was fantastic, and I was looking forward to getting a good few nights sleep after spending two nights of the previous four sleeping on planes. Once again, Qantas had done a fantastic job impressing me and I look forward to trying them longhaul soon hopefully!

Sep 252014
 

After dropping off Pépé I headed straight for security, since this time I’d managed to get Vueling to deliver my boarding pass to my phone. Security was a piece of cake, and soon I’d made it through and eventually found my way to the Priority Pass lounge. Signs were very poor, and I couldn’t seem to figure out I needed to take the escalator upstairs.

At this point, I was starving. I hadn’t eaten any real food since breakfast, and it was now late afternoon. I probably should have grabbed something in Llívia, but wasn’t really thinking. I was praying for some food in the lounge. Um, no.  here were a couple of stale looking sandwiches, cheese and crackers, and peanuts. But there was beer. Local beer. Which kinda made up for it. Beer on an empty stomach is good, right?

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About 30 minutes before boarding I headed to the gate, and there was already a line 100 deep forming to board. Ugh, the indignity of flying low cost carriers. Eventually an announcement was made…in spanish only…to split into two lines…one for the first 15 or so rows, and the other for the last 15. Everyone looked confused…because most of them were french. Translated for a few nice old ladies, and managed to skip ahead in line a bit. It was a mess.

Vueling flight 8244
Barcelona, Spain (BCN) to Paris, Charles de Gaulle (CDG)
Depart 17:00, Arrive 18:50, Flight Time 1:50
Airbus A320, Registration EC-MBF, Manufactured 2008, Seat 14D

Flight was about 95% full, but fortunately the E and F seats in my row were empty…or were they. Two 20-something french guys moved into them from the row behind…but I wasn’t going to argue about it.

The flight attendant came around to do her safety briefing…asking first if we spoke Catalan or Spanish. Si. The two french guys gave her a blank look. She asks again “do you speak english?” Another blank stare. She tries to tell them in English that they must move, because you must speak Catalan, Spanish, or English to sit in the exit row. They looked at her like she was an alien.

At this point, the door was closed, and it was delaying the flight. None of the crew, it appeared, spoke french. So, in order to get the flight moving…and maaaaaybe because I wanted the whole row to myself. I translated…explaining to them. They wanted me to tell the flight attendants a long story about how they knew what to do, they could handle it, etc. I started telling them….and the flight attendant raises her voice. YOU. GO. TO. YOUR. OTHER. SEAT. NOW. OR. WE. WILL. TAKE. YOU. OFF. THE. FLIGHT.

Reluctantly, they finally moved, and we were under way.

About 15 minutes into the flight, as the crew was starting the drink service, I went to the washroom.  I came back to find them in the E and F seats again.  I told them the flight attendant was not going to be happy…and they just gave me a shhhhh!

Well, they came around with buy on board, and the fireworks started.

The flight attendant tried once again to tell them they couldn’t sit there. It ended with the two of them up in her face, and two other flight attendants’ faces, in the aisle, just shy of yelling at them. “Why can’t we sit there? Is it because we’re french? Why don’t you speak french when you fly to france” No translating needed, they weren’t even listening at all. Finally the flight attendant threatened to “have the pilot land the plane” and one of the french guys called her a “racist spanish pig” and took a swing at her.

Out came the zip ties. In a first after 2,000,000 miles of flying, I had to help a flight attendant hold down a passenger while his hands were zip-tied behind his back.

Oh, and he still didn’t get to sit in the exit row…and I got my pringles and beer comped 😉

Upon landing, we taxied past Concorde:

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The Gendarmes met the flight, and I had to walk with them to an office and give a statement. Only took about 10 minutes, and I was pretty pleased with myself that my french was adequate for giving an official statement. Let’s just hope they don’t call me back for a court appearance or something. That would absolutely suck 😉

Took CDGVal to the RER station, and ended up waiting nearly 15 minutes for a train.  Straight shot to Châtelet, and then roughly a 10 minute walk to my hotel.  I was pretty tired by this point after driving nearly 8 hours through Spain and France, but was determined to enjoy my night.  Headed to Les Philosophes for dinner, where I had no problem scoring a table for one. It was nearly 9pm by this point so they were out of lots of things, but the restaurant was packed. Ended up having a nice chat with a couple from Québec on their honeymoon at the next table over.

But first, red wine and bread. I still don’t understand why red wine in France is always colder than anywhere else in the world.

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…and an amazing onion soup, with onions from their own garden.

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…and perhaps the simplest, yet most amazing, steak tartare I’ve ever had.

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Unfortunately they were out of the apple tart dessert I wanted, but this chocolate mousse was absolutely terrible and went terribly with my wine 😉

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Now, it was nearly 11pm, and the smart thing to do with a 10am flight would have been to go to bed.  I wasn’t smart.

Went back to the hotel, made a few phone calls, and a little bit after midnight, I was thinking “it’s only noon in Hawaii…if I go to bed now, I’ll never sleep in Hawaii. Let’s go for a walk.” So, I started walking.

Past the Pompidou, the Jardins de Luxembourg, up the Champs Elysée to the Arc de Triomphe.  Back down Ave. Kléber to Trocadéro, over the Pont D’Iéna, and to the Eiffel Tower.  It was an amazing stroll, Paris by moonlight, and absolutely magical. I’ve been to Paris probably 50 times, but this was a whole new side of Paris, and I loved it! Walked back along the left bank, and finally got back to my hotel around 5am…this was not going to end well…but it was 5pm…an appropriate nap time in Hawaii.

So, I aid down in my hotel for a 1 hour nap:

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Alarm woke me up fortunately, quick shower, and I was out the door…the long trip to Hawaii was about to begin…again!